Roughly once per day for the last few months Toddler Harbat has asked about her birthday. Each time we asked about a theme, it varied from “Pony Princess” to “Princess Pony”. No way was I dressing up in a full-sized latex foam My Little Pony costume, slathering the edges of the mouth with fake blood and viscera, and terrorizing a gaggle of toddler girls. Come to think of it that sounds pretty fun. Nonetheless, when one day she answered, “Pirate princess!” my wife and I latched on and didn’t let go. How do you do a pirate princess party? First make sure the goodie bags are stashed with pirate accessories, loot, booty, and some cheap plastic stuff made in China.
Then I made a cake. In my family we’ve always made birthday cakes and decorated them ourselves. Sounds normal, though there’s a trend now for children to get store-bought cakes emblazoned with Disney copyright material, or incredible creations draped in fondant that rival a wedding cake in cost and size. Let’s say the look of our birthday cake is “endearingly ugly.” The Ariel addition was a brilliant last-minute addition by my wife who predicted that an Ariel doll in a plastic box is nowhere near as exciting as Ariel skating across a choppy sea of pink frosting. Looks like she got her sea legs, if you can call those laughably un-anatomical skin-wrapped bones “legs”. Ahoy Ariel!
The second culinary masterstroke of the party were the cupcakes. A few bucks’ worth of plastic Martha Stewart stencils and some powdered sugar transformed our cupcakes from drab to fab in no time at all! God, I’ve been waiting to say that for a long time.
The original party dress shown below eventually got covered by a princess dress, then a new handmade birthday skirt was worn underneath. It’s a wonder she could walk.
How did Toddler Harbat enjoy the party? The grimace says it all: great success! Tomorrow, as promised, what goes up must come down.