My wife recently told me about a new product that could radically improve our lives. She found it in the Solutions catalog. This company, if you aren’t hip, provides “solutions” to life’s persistent problems. One of their solutions is a…
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Mock…yeah!
I went to sleep last night with a mockingbird singing outside. It’s luxurious, really, to hear birdsong at night when you go to bed, like falling asleep in chair on a summer afternoon, a glass of lemonade sweating beside you.…
Cree-Pee
Woke up at 4 am this morning, as per usual. Not got up, mind you, woke up. Not sure why my body does this, but this stutter-step into the real getup at 6 is no fun. I woke up in…
Le Petit Diabolique Écolier
Chocolate biscuit update! Not content to let me wife badmouth my second most favorite cookie, I did some investigation. Petit Ecolier plain Looks harmless enough. Here’s a closer look at that beautiful kisser. Petit Ecolier face I don’t know whether…
Go Ahead, Make Me Laugh
A few nights ago I was putting Baby Harbat to bed. Here’s the scene: I’m holding her and rocking before I put her in her crib—this is quiet snuggly time and she’s supposed to be winding down to go to…
Obese Tuesday
I am celebrating this day by eating more Rolos than I should. At least they are filled with ooey-gooey caramel so you have to eat them more slowly, which is good. But they are 200% sugar. So that’s bad. I’m…
It’s the Smell
I cut down several trees this weekend, though it wasn’t the axe-swinging cathartic event I’d hoped. The first was a Chinese elm that had sprung up in a row of hedges in front of our house. Beautiful multi-trunked thing and…
Bad Hair Life
At some point in my childhood I decided to Take Charge of my appearance. No more sweaty mud-stained corduroys. I began first with my hair. For the formative years it was a straight (or slightly crooked) bowl cut. Standard…
Bzzz…bzzz…
Zap! That’s the sound of something in my brain short-circuiting when I saw my December electric bill. $540! That’s not a bill, it’s a shiv in the ribs while someone pins your arms and empties your pockets. We just…
Almost-face
Had a dream early this morning, 4:30-ish. I was crouching behind my laundry basket because of a threat of terrorists. I was traveling abroad at the time. I heard them coming, chanting “Nagata nagata” very quickly, like machine-gun fire. I…
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