Mister Bloat

It’s astonishing what gets built without someone at some point saying, “Nope, shut it down.  This is terrifying.”  At a inflatable “theme park” here in San Diego, there’s one that caught my eye.  But first, when I say “theme park” I mean “a place where you fork over twenty bucks a head to get into a collection of inflatable slides and bouncy castles in a mall parking lot”.  Given the ticket price I was expecting the Very Best in Inflatable Amusements.  And lordy, I wasn’t disappointed!  Here’s Mister Bloat guarding the entrance to an “inflatable amusement”:

Mr. Bloat

 

First, he looks like he’s holding in some gas or has major facial reconstructive surgery from a burn.  Let’s take a closer look at that beautiful kisser:

Mr. Bloat closeup

 

Good God, he’s constipated.  I’m not sure about the ripped shorts and…is that a bandanna or just a weird bowl cut?  Hewn from stone and ten stories tall, this guy could guard the entrance to San Diego harbor like the Colossus of Rhodes.  If I saw that face I’d turn back across the Pacific.

Writer, architect, father, husband.

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One comment on “Mister Bloat
  1. Babs says:

    YIKES,!