I’ve heard that Americans like to fly their flag more than others around the world. Maybe because we’re a relatively new country? I think South Sudan has us beat on that. Is it the sight of white stars on a celestial blue field? Red and white stripes catching the eye? I’ve never been a big flag waver but several years ago we got a nice big flag we flew for July Fourth and kept up all year. It caught the prevailing westerly wend and an odd updraft at the front of our house so usually flew almost straight up in the air, sending our patriotic energy skyward like the bat signal.
I got in trouble from a veteran neighbor during the World Cup when I flew the Portuguese flag higher than the American flag. This wasn’t out of some rah-rah team Portugal fanaticism but the fact that our little Portuguese flag had a cap on the sleeve so could only sit above the American flag on the pole. I knew it at the time and got a friendly but strong rebuke from our neighbor who’d fought in Vietnam and thought I was sending some political message about my flag positioning. Turns out the American flag also needs to sit to the right of others when viewed from the front. And should be taken down in the rain. And can’t touch the ground. What else have I been doing wrong?
Now it’s time to replace our old flag. Below, the old warrior and the new recruit.
For the last few months the tattered corner of the flag had been caught at the base of the flagpole so we had something like a moebius strip on a pole. The old flag had a pole pocket, the new one has grommets, which will prove to be a problem. But once I had the new one tied to the pole I was in a quandary: what to do with the old flag? With all the rules and respect and patriotism and meaning and GRAVITAS, surely I couldn’t just throw it in the trash. But what about the little flags you get by the dozen at parades, don’t those get thrown away? What’s the protocol here? Maybe I sing the national anthem with hand on heart and unblinking eyes while I ceremonially bury the flag? No, it’s not supposed to touch the ground. How about sending up to the sky in one of those firey hot air balloon things? No, burning it is even worse. What to do with this venerable threadbare symbol of America? How to pay homage (pronounced oh-mazh)?
I put it in the trash and now the new one is wrapped around the pole in a wet tangle after a rainstorm. I’m the worst American.
Writer, architect, father, husband.