It’s astonishing what gets built without someone at some point saying, “Nope, shut it down. This is terrifying.” At a inflatable “theme park” here in San Diego, there’s one that caught my eye. But first, when I say “theme park” I mean “a place where you fork over twenty bucks a head to get into a collection of inflatable slides and bouncy castles in a mall parking lot”. Given the ticket price I was expecting the Very Best in Inflatable Amusements. And lordy, I wasn’t disappointed! Here’s Mister Bloat guarding the entrance to an “inflatable amusement”:
First, he looks like he’s holding in some gas or has major facial reconstructive surgery from a burn. Let’s take a closer look at that beautiful kisser:
Good God, he’s constipated. I’m not sure about the ripped shorts and…is that a bandanna or just a weird bowl cut? Hewn from stone and ten stories tall, this guy could guard the entrance to San Diego harbor like the Colossus of Rhodes. If I saw that face I’d turn back across the Pacific.
Writer, architect, father, husband.
YIKES,!