Boys. They just can’t do the safe thing, they’ve got to toe the line, peer over the edge, then ride their bikes along it. I’m trying to water the plants last night and Number Two decides he’s coming out. Fine…he can ride his tricycles in the fenced area next to the pool while I water the plants around the pool. But no—he’s got to be with me and then decides that playing stuntman and giving me a dozen mini heart attacks is way more fun than doing the safe thing. So he rides around the pool, putting a wheel or two up on the concrete coping.
Is that enough risk? No. He’s got to face away from the pool and back up to turn around, not signaling, not checking his mirrors, just backing up blind as he heads towards the deep end. And he stops with his wheels on the edge, pauses, then pushes off and rolls forward away from the pool. Again, again!
Now let’s talk about the internet. Can we Daddy, can we please, everyone screams? Yes, we can talk about those people that think they are anonymous but really aren’t. I’m just going to take one example so you understand how visible you are online. When you visit my blog I know when you came, what pages you went to, what browser you used, what your operating system is, what your screen resolution is, and where you are. Recently I thought, in my raisin-like simian brain, that it would be good to have visitors to my old website, http://psoutowood.wordpress.com, be redirected to this one. I was getting lots of hits from all over the world on the old site and thought I could use the visibility here. Do you know what one of my all-time most popular posts is? Click here for internet sparkle magic. People all over the world are searching for gruesome crime scene photos and that blog post is now page 37 on Google search results. Imagine that! Someone is looking for gruesome crime scene photos, has already gone through three dozen pages and thinks, “Come on, come on. This next one’ll be the mother lode.” That’s the kind of dedicated, sweaty, bloodshot-eyed person I want reading my blog. So congratulations, Houston, TX, visiting on your Samsung Android phone at 12:46 am, you are my #1 creepiest site visitor. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!