You’d think I would’ve learned my lesson. You’d be wrong. This weekend on a beautiful sunny day I brought Number Two out into the yard for some afternoon frivolity and nature communion. I smiled as I saw some birds wriggling and bathing in the kids’ water table—a pastoral scene pulled from a 19th century English landscape painting.
[Scene opens on a bucolic warm weekend afternoon. Number Two crawls at maximum speed to the water table and begins splashing and carrying on.]
Babbo:Oh, isn’t that creative! Number Two has found a bucket to scoop up water and augment his play! Why, this must be a sign of complex play and the use of tools, a developmental milestone!
Hmm, that bucket has some sand in it. Well, he seems happy enough to play. Except…does he think that bucket is a water delivery method to the mouth, a sippy cup of the giants? Well, with his first mouthful of sandy water he’ll reconsider this plan. Let them learn, I say. Experience rather than lecture.
Nope, experiment failed. If anything, the added grit is adding texture to his muddy water beverage. Now he’s sucking down great draughts of it like a lumberjack on a work break. So…was it enjoyable?
Number Two: Ha ha! I tricked you, Babbo! I really only spilled it on my shirt. So now can I go eat some dirt?
[Scene end]
Writer, architect, father, husband.
Ha Ha! Fooled you. Although maybe a little bird poop slipped in. Yuck!
Oh my gosh look at that hair! I didn’t even recognize him!!! I thought this was a neighbor’s kid!!!! I love how you are taking pictures whilst he chugs cholera water.
Oh relax, it wasn’t cholera water, it was malaria water. And he needs another haircut, he’s dangerously close to the long-haired skate rat looks common among sullen yutes down here in SoCal.