Darn this working for a living stuff, it always seem to get in the way of things like blogging, seeing what new creations have been made in Top Chef, and wriggling into the crawlspace to inspect leaky pipes. Wait, what was that last one?
Of all the things I wanted to do with my precious spare time in the last week, getting into the crawlspace was one thing I wanted to avoid. So after gulping at a thousand-dollar plumbing repair estimate (for one leaky sink drain pipe!) we decided to stop using the master bathroom sink. That worked great for the first day until I tired of walking with dirty hands down the hall to use the other bathroom only to find Toddler Harbat drinking out of the faucet and sputtering at me, “Wait, Babbo. I’m doin’ somesing!” Thus we put a plastic basin in our sink and can use the faucet again, but have to empty the basin every five seconds when it gets full. Which brings me back to the inevitable: another trip into the crawlspace.
I’ve written that it smells like death and forgotten places. I’ve said that by the time you squirm down to the far end of the crawlspace under the master bath, there’s about 14 inches of clearance, just enough for your eyes to focus on hand-sized spiders but not enough room to quickly move away. Now add that there’s likely months of sink seepage in the dirt under the bath and you can see why I’d rather plug my ears and shout “LALALALALALA” instead of facing the facts: 1)our hideous 70s doodoo brown/fungus orange vinyl floor is starting to bubble up off the floor; 2)mold has grown twice inside the cabinet and on the baseboards; 3)the plumbers told me they could see water pouring into the ground from a crawlspace vent outside; 4)we have approximately negative zero dollars to do a bathroom remodel. Now then Hercule, what is the inescapable conclusion? It’s that Uncle F$#k-Up will be doing a bathroom remodel this summer!
If you think the gruesome discoveries of new fungal life forms, the overzealous demolition work, and the ham-fisted repairs will all be chronicled on this blog, you’re right! What better way to feel better about my work than to show all the least desirable parts of it!
I couldn’t leave off without a picture, of course, so here’s a teaser for tomorrow’s post. What’s a little vampire’s favorite beach destination? Sandy Cape! Wait until tomorrow, you’ll get it.