Everyone Remain Calm!

Public tension is threatening to disrupt society over my blog and delightfully pedestrian musings, particularly over the provenance of my daughter’s nickname.  I say unto the masses, “Be calm.  The explanation is here.”


Baby Harbat.  The first part is self-explanatory.  The second is a word my wife and I use on a daily basis as a replacement for any word we are too lazy to use.  Ex:  “Can you get me another harbat while you’re up?”  In this example, harbat is cookie.  Or, “Can you harbat the door so the moths don’t come in.”  You see how harbat can change with ease from noun to verb.  In more complex constructions, a second filled word is needed:  harlat.  Ex:  “Can you harbat the harlat when you’re done.”  Could be ‘open the bathroom window, or maybe ‘reheat the fondue’.  Many of our houseguests are confused during our conversations. 


While BH was still in larva form in my wife’s abdomen, and while her gender was unknown, we needed a name for her/it.  Once she was excreted from the ovipositor and her glistening fetal carapace was removed, it was clear that the name we picked for her was correct.  However, the Baby Harbat moniker sticks to this day, though she is technically a toddler.  What will happen when she reaches teenage years?  Young Harbat?  Miss Harbat?  Perhaps.


Thank you for harbatting.  You may now return to your harlat.

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Writer, architect, father, husband.

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4 comments on “Everyone Remain Calm!
  1. Crissy Po says:

    When we get home later I want to go to the harlat and get some harbats for the kitchen table 😉

  2. psoutowood says:

    I understand exactly what this all means. [sigh]

  3. SRWood says:

    This is extremely Harbat. I think you should gather up some harbats and construct a gas-filled harlat. (Note: YOU are not the harlat here.) You can then ascend to the harlatosphere and stave of hunger with harbats.Have you read Stephen King's The Stand? In it is the Dark Harbat, or He Who Calls the Harlats.

  4. psoutowood says:

    I cannot stop thinking of the harlatosphere, which is filled with steampunk dirigibles with flesh-colored air sacs and it is forever sunset. I think I'm getting harbat on the brain.

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