Tastes Hobbity


[Disclaimer:  If you haven’t seen the Lord of the Rings movies, this post will make no sense to you.]

[Disclaimer 2:  If you have seen the movies, this still won’t make sense.  Onward!]


Two dreams about making bread.  The first was a standard jumble of the last few days, places and thoughts.  Punchline:  I was invited to bake bread at a market/cooking school, but the monthly fee was $14.99!  Extortion! 


In the second dream, I came upon a mostly-abandoned concentration camp.  A large stone courtyard had rows of ovens at the perimeter, and I knew this was where orcs and Uruk Hai were making Hobbits into…wait for it…bread!  As I considered the implications of this (would it be more buttery?), an Uruk Hai came charging across the courtyard.  Damn.  I wish I had chosen to be Legolas, so I could take him down at a distance with a few well-placed arrows.  Instead, I was Pippin, or someone equally foolish and deadly as a wiffle bat, and realized I would have to let this Uruk get all up in my face before I let loose a flurry of slaps.  Luckily my brain fast-forwarded through that embarrassing scene.


Toward the end of the dream I saw all the ovens, flour, peels, and ingredients, and thought, “Well, wouldn’t it be a waste to leave this?  Couldn’t I just make a little bread as a tribute?” 


Just before I woke up, I saw that the clever orcs had torn a hole in the middle of a massive piece of bread, presumably to make a toad-in-a-hole variant based on hobbit.  Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!

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Writer, architect, father, husband.

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One comment on “Tastes Hobbity
  1. SRWood says:

    "It's not hobbity enough.""No, es muy hobbity!"

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