What is That Stabbing Pain in My Gut?

Is one question I want answered.  Preferably by someone who knows more about medicine and anatomy than me.  My mother-in-law pointed out, with patience, that my stomach was not low and on my right side, but high up on the left behind my rib cage.  This does not help me find the source of this intermittent and surprising pain.  Let’s say it feels like a large darning needle being stuck into where my stomach is supposed to be.  I imagine it as a ragged-edged hole that caustic digestive fluid has eaten away, and now each time I eat a Rolo or some pollo asado, it plunks into my chest cavity.  (Mom, I eat more that just caramels and pollo asado, trust me.  Sometimes I have Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.  Ah wait, this may explain the stabbing pain…)

 

Here’s another question:  why can’t Mahmoud Ahmadinejad just fight it out with Hugo Chavez for the title of Most Megalomaniacal Dangernut?  I’m just asking, is all. 

 

But back to inexplicable random pain.  I’m now experiencing hip socket pain.  It begins five minutes into a run and ends one minute later.  No amount of walking, stretching, or care will avoid this.  I should add that I’ve read that there’s no definitive proof that stretching before exercise reduces your chance of injury.  Plus, I often feel that stretching when cold is temptation to injury.  I can imagine my hamstring, lulled into torpor by a half-day of sitting in an office chair, suddenly stretched to breaking when I go for my lunchtime run.  Will it finally snap one day?  Until then I stretch…just a little bit…FURTHER!  Twang.

 

Apologies for the Larry King-esque Rando-Rant.  Sometimes blog entries are greater than the sum of the parts.  Sometimes the parts should be scraped straight into a bag, tied up, and immediately delivered to the trashcan outside, where even the raccoons will scurry away after coming within sniffing distance.

 

Fin.

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Writer, architect, father, husband.

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2 comments on “What is That Stabbing Pain in My Gut?
  1. Babs says:

    Actually–caramels and pollo asado doesn't sound half bad. The Reese's Peanut Butter Salmonella Cups, however….. What is that pain??

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